Hold on to loyal love and don’t let go, and be faithful to all that you’ve been taught. Let your life be shaped by integrity, with truth written upon your heart. Proverbs 3:3
Divorce is devastating. It can do a number on a person, no matter the circumstances of the dissolution of the marriage. It can destroy your self-esteem and plunge you into an abyss of depression. My marriage was the thing that shaped my entire adult life up to that point. When it was gone I felt lost and unmoored. I was also very angry as I constantly thought about the sunk costs. I put in the time and the work, even sacrificing my career and identity and suffering years of emotional abuse. I was a loyal wife and this is what I get in return?!
To make matters even worse I also lost several friendships when my marriage ended. People think divorce is contagious and it scares many away. People also often choose sides. I shrugged it off, thinking I’d already lost a husband and marriage and a big chunk of my life. Losing a friend or two is nothing in comparison. I can handle it.
When your heart is shattered and your marriage ends in such a treacherous way it can cause you to become hardened, bitter, and afraid to be vulnerable and open your heart to anyone. It’s easy to isolate yourself and push others away. That’s why it was so easy for me to dismiss the broken friendships. Fewer chances for me to get hurt again.
Looking back at that time from a place of healing I see that that callous attitude wasn’t healthy. We can’t allow hurt to change us. We can’t hold on to heartache and disappointment causing us to become bitter.
While these emotions are completely understandable, we must fight against it and work to heal and become whole by adhering to and obeying the wisdom in God’s word.
This scripture admonishes us to “hold on to loyal love and don’t let go, and be faithful to what you’ve been taught.”
When you hold on and are faithful to the loyal love that you’ve taught you’ll know that God is love (I John 4:8) and that God loves you (John 3:16).
Hold on and be faithful to the loyal love that you’ve been taught is patient, kind, trusting and enduring (I Corinthians 7), and that casts out all fear (I John 4:18).
Hold on and don’t let go of loyal love, but DO let go of bitterness, anger, revenge, hurt and sadness (Ephesians 4:31) so that you can live your life with integrity and with the “truth that is written on your heart” that you have and continue to love faithfully, honestly and honorably.